Our bedroom is either really hot or really cold.  It all depends on when the furnace fires up.  Last night around 3:00am I woke up and was soaked from the waist up. 

I thought to myself- "WOW!  It must've really gotten warm in here".   I sat up in bed and realized that only one side of my shirt was wet.

It was then that I noticed that our four-year old was asleep in the middle of the bed.  It didn't take much to deduce that my shirt was not soaked in sweat.

I don't remember ever being a bed-wetter.  It must come from her mom's side of the family.  Doesn't mean I didn't- it just means I don't remember.  Kinda like I don't remember ever having eye-brows I don't need to trim weekly because of the stray mutant hairs that are the result of age.   I know I didn't always have to trim them but I don't remember when that was.

Don't get me wrong.  I love my little one.  I know she didn't mean to leave a puddle on the temperpedic, and I know that gravity caused the majority  of her waste-water to run its course toward me and soak my night shirt.   But- at 3:00am as I progressed to the sofa to continue my slumber (ironically both her and her mommy slept through the release of the Hoover Dam) all I could think of is how I'll exact my revenge.

It may be 40 years from now as I approach 90 and no longer have control of my own functions.  I hope it will be in her car with the really nice Napa leather seats.   I hope it will be a very hot day.   It doesn't matter because I will get my sweet revenge.  Just like I will exact payback from my oldest daughter for telling a cute college girl when she was a toddler that  "Daddy had a boil on his hiney and had to go to the hospital".   I hope she doesn't plan on introducing me to a boyfriend anytime soon.    

Those moments of joy and pride with your children are awesome.  But the plotting and scheming of their eventual embarrassment is beyond happiness.  Is that wrong?
Virginia Ott
1/22/2013 06:12:20 am

LOL. I remember the boil and the doughnut cushion you had to sit on during the morning show. Priceless.

Mike Ondayko
1/22/2013 09:09:29 am

Thanks Virginia! Funny that you remember...

virginia ott
1/23/2013 09:24:58 am

Kirk and Lopez did not let you live it down easily, If I recall correctly. Miss those days.

Billy Funkhouser
1/23/2013 12:08:56 pm

Maybe Ol' Chappy Poofter could help you exact your revenge!

Kathy Fallon
1/24/2013 04:03:44 am

Definitely not wrong...that's why we take so many baby pictures!!


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    Mike Ondayko

    Mike has been a Baltimore radio staple since 1995.   He can be heard weekday afternoons on Baltimore's Classic Rock Station:  100.7 The Bay.

    His meanderings are just that... a meandering.  Just thoughts scattered on the interwebs designed to entertain, incite and provoke.  Or.... perhaps divert for a moment or two.