Originally equipped with a 225 slant 6- I'm now a 318 V-8  (THAT'S A WEIGHT REFERENCE) that leaks oil and blows caustic smoke from its tailpipe without warning. (I THINK YA GET THAT METAPHOR)  Most times I'm lucky if I get 100 miles out of a tank of gas and I can't hit 25 mph unless I'm heading down hill. (THAT'S A PERSONAL REFERENCE TO SPEED AND MOVEMENT ABILITY) The original push button torque flight transmission is now three on the tree that slips out of second for no apparent reason. (I'M CLUNKY)

My round headlights have been repaired, (EYE SURGERY AND CATARACTS) the mirror attached to the ceiling of the interior is held on by duct tape (NECK PAIN) and don't even ask me about my rear bumper.  Let's just say that over the years chrome tends to pit. (YOU CAN FIGURE THAT OUT)   

Did I mention my tires are bald (AND SO IS MY HEAD) and that I've blown a gasket or two in my time?  (HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE).
I squeak quite a bit (ARTHRITIS) and there is quite a bit of flaking paint too...(DRY SKIN). 

The original front axle has been replaced and the rear axle is next.  (LEFT HIP REPLACEMENT TWO YEARS AGO- RIGHT HIP SOON)   I need a tune up badly- but the rust is the only thing holding the wires on to the plugs. (NEED TO GET IN SHAPE)  My windshield is cracked,  (WRINKLES) my wing vents are stuck (I'M SET IN MY WAYS SOMETIMES) and the t-handle parking brake takes a little extra effort to get it to work. (ONCE AGAIN- INSERT YOUR OWN METAPHOR HERE)    Oh- and my intake manifold has been modified (SINUS SURGERY) and the hinges on the passenger door have been replaced. (RIGHT ELBOW SURGERY).   The suspension is suspect (BOTH SHOULDERS AND KNEES HAVE BEEN MODIFIED) and I don't start up right away.  (I DON'T WAKE UP AS EASY AS I USED TO)

Yeh... I'm broken.  But with a little tender love and care I can get back to near what I once was.  Right now-  I get where I need to go and ya don't see many like me around anymore.  (AND WE ALL THANK GOD FOR THAT!)

Leave a Reply.

    Mike Ondayko

    Mike has been a Baltimore radio staple since 1995.   He can be heard weekday afternoons on Baltimore's Classic Rock Station:  100.7 The Bay.

    His meanderings are just that... a meandering.  Just thoughts scattered on the interwebs designed to entertain, incite and provoke.  Or.... perhaps divert for a moment or two.